Don't do it here.

Signs are always an easy way of poking fun at foreigners. By way of apology I have to admit that, were I to try writing a sign in Arabic, I would probably be arrested for blasphemy, treason, libel or numerous offences against calligraphy. So it is with some humility that I have to ask what this sign might mean?

Do not inflate balloons near this building.

This sign might be appropriate placed next to a sluice or some designer toilet bowl, but it was attached to a wall in an otherwise empty subterranean corridor.

Sounds fairly reasonable (subject to not washing the other hand as well), but why would anyone want to...

I suspect this is a euphemism similar to an American's request to 'use the bathroom' - that is to say that our US cousins do not actually want a room which contains a bath. Similarly, this sign has little to do with hand washing (other than it is recommended afterwards).

This pair of signs on the security man's desk are a little less obscure, and even provide a mobile phone number for continuity of service. Some people never go off duty.

The answer to the question above:

Spitting Image

Just as well, really, it would be a full time job.

Tomorrow or whenever: Something else...

It'll be nice when the finish it... 2

There are some stunning and original buildings in Dubai - and many more are planned. Unlike the concept cars we see in the press and at motor shows that never make it into production, these buildings actually stand a good chance of being built.

But one of the side effects of building a city the size of Dubai in a couple of decades (see It'll be nice when the finish it... 1) is that most of the buildings come from the same architectural era. This is very apparent in Dubai.

The patch of sand in the foreground is destined to be more of the same.

It is  true to say that there is considerable variety, but what is more noticeable is what the buildings have in common. The majority  look as thought the 'designers' (one hesitates to call them architects) were given a Lego catalogue with a limited colour palette, a tour of Docklands circa 1996 and just allowed to get on with it.

Can we do it? Well, yes, after a fashion.

Most of these are buildings surrounding my hotel.

Any colour you like as long as it's mostly blue and kind of sandy

The exception actually is my hotel, a modest prize is offered for using your skill and judgement to guess which one.

(Serving suggestion)

Tomorrow (or when I get round to it): Don't do it here.

The Bling Trees of Burj

This is the tallest building in the world.

It is over ten miles high, is made of recycled drink cans and should not be looked at without dark glasses.

The Burj Khalifa

It's design is rumoured to be inspired by a local variety of tree, Palmus Blingii

Electric Bling Trees

Well, I think that's what he said...


Tomorrow: It'll be nice when they finish it 2

It'll be nice when the finish it... 1

I am told that most of Dubai has been built in the last couple of decades.

This is the same view in what is now Downtown Dubai...

Today

2003

and 1990

Quick work indeed. I passed this building on the way into town the other morning

By the time I got back they'd finished it.

Bloody marvelous!

Tomorrow: The Bling Trees of Burj

Art Appreciation

I decided to go for the Art Appreciation option as the 'Spinal... ...haddock' story was just a sorry tale of getting soaked to the skin and then getting lost in the bowels of the Burj Khalifa. So stand by for some culture:

My hotel likes its art.

They have a fine selection of paintings, not that modern art stuff, these are real paintings, landscapes and the like.

Hundreds of them.

I have two above the bed... one is a bit abstract-ish

... the other is a classic composition, but the presentation is trés moderne

 (OK, it's upside down)

Tomorrow: Architecture.

Just Like Home 2

Sorry to disappoint anyone hankering after a bit of Art Appreciation (as promised yesterday) but Schadenfreude beckons...

This is a nice young man on the BBC showing what the weather is like in Australia. A moment before he was pointing at a similar streak of rain going right through Dubai, but I missed that picture so you will have to use your imagination.

There had been light rain in the evening, more moist that wet. When I got up this morning there were some damp patches on the road and I thought, "Excellent, rain at night, just as it should be."

I walked the 200m to Ryan's apartment for a lift to work, but as we left his place it started to spit. And then rain a little more heavily. It is Friday (think Sunday) so the roads are pretty clear.

The few cars there were drove like it was dry with hilarious non-fatal consequences. Cars kicked up a lot of spray and the very fine dust looked like milk flowing across the road, these are the white lines you can see in the photo below. 

They don't do highway drainage here. On the drive into Downtown Dubai we passed big pools of standing water and drove through splashes because, essentially, we are children.

It is also the weekend of Dubai's National Day with lots of public events and much whooping it up to celebrate 41 years of national pride.

Just like a bank holiday at home.

Tomorrow: Not sure whether to do Spinal Tap and the Haddock's Bathing Costume or Art Appreciation...

Just like Home

Short notice trip to Dubai.

Turns out to be quite familiar in places.

This will be the cheese door... mmmmmm

Tomorrow: Art Appreciation.