Retail fnarr fnarr

I promised myself I would not indulge in cheap gags about foreign retail products, but as well as appearing to be a little 'does what is says on the tin', this lot seem to be arranged in order of seriousness...

... especially if, like me, you read the 'rn' in Burnol as an m. 

'Should have gone to Specsavers' [You did. Ed.]

Ready to Implement the Special Requests...

This raises more questions than it answers:

Well, I'll be Buggied...

They were alloys as well...

Fish Fence

I was talking to a local guy whose English was pretty good but far from perfect. He told me that all local life forms want to get backstage to hang out with the stars - even fish. Apparently they come up with all sorts of excuses...

"I had one, but I don't have a neck and it slipped off. What do they think we are, stupid? But they keep trying so we have to use a special fish fence to keep them out."

At least I think that's what he said.

The cheques on the posts

A new Guinness world record was on October 24th  when over 250 people twirled chequered flags at the same time.

Seriously.

This may not sound like much of a record, but where would you even get 250 chequered flags in the first place? How about on the beach at Abu Dhabi. It seems a second world record was achieved inadvertently for the greatest number of chequered flags simultaneously indulging in bondage and sunbathing.

For aspirant chequered-flag-world-record-breakers, here is a slightly easier one to go for.

The most chequered flags on a forklift.

Go on, you know you want to...